


The Power Of Love

by AnnaSvensson91



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: Anal Sex, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2019-10-10 03:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17418524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaSvensson91/pseuds/AnnaSvensson91
Summary: A love can win inspite of everything.





	1. 1) I don't remember quite how I met you.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if a made some mistakes in english. Enjoy.

February 1980;

Pov Simon

 

I walked along a darkening street, smoking a cigarette, heading for the Rum Runner Club. This place was very popular, especially for fans of the new wave. The evening cold air of Birmingham blew my face, forcing me to shiver, although I seemed to be dressed warmly. Having found the club, I stood for a while, finishing a cigarette. Cars on the street passed little, and at night you didn t see them at all, only the cabs occasionally drove through. After seeing a couple that had entered the club, without delay, i finished my cigarette and went to the club. Entering the clubhouse, I looked around: at first the place seemed too gloomy for me, but at the same time very comfortable. Somewhere from afar came the sounds of music. I have never been to this club, but i passed it many times when i went to college. And the purpose of my visit to the club was that here i had to audition for the role of vocalist of one of the groups. I wouldn t have come to this club if it weren t for my ex-girlfriend Fiona, who told me about the audition. At that moment i was writing poems when the phone rang. Hearing about the audition, I just grinned. At that time i performed with a lot of groups, which was enough for me. But Fiona managed to persuade me to come to the club and try my luck.

"And I don't really know what I'm doing here"

Well, having stood a little while, I finally moved from my place and went to the wardrobe to hand over my winter coat. Then I decided to find Fiona or just wait for her. “Apparently, it will be much better to wait for her,” I decided, and headed for the bar to order myself a cocktail.  
\- Do you want anything? - The barman asked.  
\- Pour something, preferably non-alcoholic. And by the way, doesn't Fiona Camp work for you here?  
\- Yes, why?  
\- I'm her friend, can you call her? - I replied.  
\- Wait a minute. - nodded the barman and went somewhere.  
Two minutes later, he returned with Fiona. Seeing me she was very happy and hugged me in a friendly way.  
\- Hi, I knew that you wouldn t fail. - she smiled.  
\- I don t like to let people down. Although you prevailed on this audition. By the way, are those guys from the group here already? - I asked.  
\- Yes. They have been waiting for you for a long time. By the way, they also work here.  
\- Is it true? Is this additional earnings for them? - I grinned.  
\- You can say so, and in the evenings they play there. By the way, come to work with us. - She suggested.  
\- And who do you think I will work here?  
\- Waiter, like me.  
\- I should think about it.  
\- Of course, i don t ask for the restoration of relations, I just suggested. - She shrugged.  
\- Everything is fine, Fiona. Maybe I will really go here to work. We'll see. The main thing for me today is to pass this selection, is there no queue? - I asked.  
\- No, I told the guys that I will agree with you. - Fiona said.  
\- Is that so?  
\- Their previous vocalist left them recently, he thought that the group had no chance and decided that he had enough. - Fiona answered.  
\- I didn t think that they had such a pessimistic vocalist. - I said, taking another sip of the cocktail.  
\- Yeah. You better stop to cool down, don t make the guys wait. - Fiona smiled patting me on the shoulder.  
\- Coming soon. - I replied.  
Having finished the cocktail, Fiona and I went to the place of the rehearsal base, more precisely the scene of the club. And there I saw four guys who played music on their instruments. In my opinion, they seemed to me cool. But my attention was attracted by a skinny, dark-haired boy with glasses.  
\- Guys, meet Simon Le Bon, he agreed to audition for the group. - Fiona said turned to the guys.  
\- Hi, Simon. Welcome to us at Duran Duran. - the blond guy said playing the guitar.  
\- This is Andy Taylor, he is a guitar player. And this is Nick Rhodes, keyboard player, and Roger Taylor, he is a drummer, and John Taylor is bass player. - Fiona said.  
Three Taylor in a group? Well, that's wonderful. And the name of the band! Somewhere I've heard it ... or does it seem to me?  
\- Thank you Fiona, you helped us a lot. - Andy shone .  
\- It's my pleasure. Well, you are still rehearsing here, and I went to work on. - Fiona said.  
\- Ok. Thanks again. - Nick Rhodes answered.  
As soon as she left, all four turned to me.  
\- Well, Simon, let's start to rehearsal? - Nick suggested.  
\- Of course. Moreover, I brought the song I wrote yesterday. - I said.  
\- Oh, so you're still a poet? It's even great! - Andy answered.  
\- Can you show us your poems, please. - Nick asked.  
\- Of course. - I said and with these words I gave them a notebook.  
All four carefully studied my song.  
\- Hmm, I think I even know what to play.” - Andy said, and with these words he began to pick up the melody on his electric guitar.  
The rest also joined the work. Nick played the keyboard, Roger tried to find the right rhythm, and John picked up the strings on the bass. After a few minutes, or maybe even an hour later, the melody was already built. But I listened to it several times to make sure that this tune would fit the words. Finally, I started to sing it.

 

"Been in this grass here for the last ten hours  
My clothes are dirty but my mouth isn't dry  
How does it happen, does it fly through the air  
Oh, I gave up asking days away  
I gave up asking  
Days away"

 

And so we spent time at the club, rehearsing a song written by me. When we all became convinced that this song sounded good enough, we decided that this was enough for tonight.  
\- By the way, I think, how about going to the studio and recording this song? - Nick suggested.  
\- Not bad. By the way, we will soon be given a salary and we will spend our salary to reserve a studio and just record this song. - Andy said.  
\- By the way, what is this song called? - Roger asked, adjusting the drums.  
\- "Sound Of Thunder". - I replied.  
\- Simon, from now on you are our regular lead singer. We enjoyed working with you. I propose to celebrate this event. - Nick said.  
\- Thank you, guys. I am glad that we managed to work together. - I smiled.  
After that, we sat down at one of the tables and ordered a cocktails.

Pov John

Working with Simon was much nicer than Nick and I could think. Why with Nick? Because it was Nick and I who founded Duran Duran. Nick is also my school friend. I have known him since childhood. After all, we were tied up with music and we decided to create our own group. Before Simon, we had different vocalists, but they didn t stay long. But when I saw Simon, I immediately realized that there would be something unusual and I was right. He had a wonderful singing voice that I liked. And his outfit ... pink leopard pants, leather gloves, brown 60s suede jacket, sunglasses, pointed shoes. “Hey, this guy has good taste in clothes,” I noticed. His hair was dyed blond. Something else attracted me to him. Maybe his charisma? Or full return to work? I couldn t answer this question. But nevertheless, we were able to finish the rehearsal and we decided that we would go to the studio as soon as we had the money to record a song. But now we have a vocalist who easily joined our team. After that we decided to celebrate the event by ordering cocktails. We found out about Simon by questioning him, because we wanted to know him better! It turned out that before that he had worked as a doorman at the Northwick Park Harrow hospital. And then, before going to college, he worked at a cooperative farm. He worked only four hours. "Yes, interesting life for a guy" - I thought. But I also noticed that Simon often looked at me and I felt some embarrassment. “Does he like me or do I have glitches?” I thought. But I decided to drop these thoughts, although it was interesting for me to listen to him. We sat somewhere for an hour, or two, or maybe even more. Leaving the club, we said goodbye to each other. Nick, Andy and Roger went one way, and me with Simon the other. For some time we walked silently down the street, until finally he broke the silence.  
\- And who is your main at the group? - he asked.  
\- Nick. But it was also me who founded the Duran Duran group with him. - I said.  
\- By the way, I wanted to ask, where did you find such a name for the band? - he asked.  
\- Do you remember the movie "Barbarella?"  
\- Yes I remember. I watched it somewhere on TV two times.  
\- Well, do you remember the sinister Dr. Durand?”  
\- So, you took from him the name of the group?  
\- Exactly. Nick and I love this movie and know it by heart. - I smiled.  
\- Good. What do you do in your free time?  
\- I work in this club, I follow the order. - I replied.  
\- You work as security?  
\- You can say so. The other guys also work here. Andy works in the kitchen, Roger is a cleaner and Nick is a DJ.  
\- Fiona also invited me to work here. - Simon smiled.  
\- That's fine, who will you work?  
\- I don t know yet. Well, maybe a waiter like Fiona.  
\- Is Fiona your girlfriend?”  
\- She was mine. We separated two months ago, didn t work with us. - Simon sighed.  
\- Oh. I haven't had one yet.  
\- You will. You're still ahead, Johnny. - Simon smiled warmly.  
I don't know what was going on inside of me, but it was fun to talk to Simon about everything. We walked along the darkened street, talking about everything, smoking cigarettes. The night sky was consecrated with stars and with a bright moon. It s good that the north wind didn t blow. But the feeling that I was starting to like Simon was starting to surround me more and more. “God, Nigel, what are you thinking about? To love men is a sin!” My parents would say. It’s just that I was raised in a Catholic environment, and a feeling of shame immediately engulfed me.  
\- John, what are you thinking? - Simon's voice led me out of his thoughts.  
\- Sorry, thought a little. So what did you tell?  
\- I said that working in Israel was really cool. Only four hours of work, and the rest of the time you can do what you want.  
\- I see you in Israel you had full fun.  
\- Absolutely right.  
\- Have you ever sung before? - I asked.  
\- It was the case. I sang in several punk bands. And now I study at the university.  
\- Decided to get a higher education?  
\- You can say so.  
Finally, we came to the house where I lived with my parents.  
\- I go on. Only ten minutes later I will get home. - he said.  
\- Well, then good bye. - I smiled.  
\- Bye. See you. - he answered and with these words he walked on.   
I looked after him until he turned around and waved goodbye. I waved back and sighing, headed for the home.


	2. 2)Is This Love?

June 1980.

POV Simon.

On this day, we had a photo session. And photographer Paul Edmond assigned us. He noticed us at the Run Runner club when we gave another concert and offered to participate in his photo shoot, which we gladly agreed to. By that time, we still continued to perform and work in this club. And I also started working here as a waiter, as I expected, and I got a decent salary. But on our salary we paid for the rental of the studio, where we recorded our songs for our debut album. What we just did in this photo shoot. Paul took pictures where he would get, for us even specially brought costumes so that we could change clothes. And when there was a break, I played different songs on the guitar. Paul even took some pictures with my guitar. I never thought that I would be in such a cool team and find a common language with the guys. It was great to work with the guys in the group. The weather was sunny, nothing prevented a photo shoot, so the day promised to be wonderful. But often I began to notice that I glanced at John. This modest, cute, handsome, young man for some reason began to attract my attention more and I didn t understand why? Several months have passed since our acquaintance. I was thinking of telling John about it, but I was afraid to scare him with my confessions, I could only ruin everything. Don t rush things, I thought, let's see how it all goes. Especially since we just started to build working partnership. And during the next break, as usual, I watched John. He was chatting about something with Nick. It seemed to me that they seemed to be brothers. Although I myself have two brothers and I have wonderful relations with them. But between Nick and John it seemed to me more. Maybe because they have long been friends with each other. Soon Nick went somewhere and I took the opportunity to decide to go to John. John was just smoking a cigarette and his lighter didn’t work well.

-Here you go. - I said, pulling my lighter to him.

-Thank you, -he said, lighting a cigarette.

\- Do you smoke for a long time? - I asked.

\- With seventeen. Why?

\- No, nothing, I just asked, - I shrugged.

We moved away from everyone, sitting down on the nearest bench, smoking and watching the others.

-By the way, I phoned up with one person here, he will come to listen to us and consider everything further, - John suddenly said.

\- Who s that man? - i asked.

-One of the people who is well versed in the show business, - John said.

\- And you are not bad in agreements with people, Johnny, - I smiled.

\- You just have to be smarter. And of course we still need a manager if we are going to break into the world of music. We don’t always have to play at Rum Runner, - John said.

-You’ve definitely noticed, - I agreed.

A minute or two, we again fell silent smoking.

\- Johnny, have you ever fallen in love? - I asked suddenly .

John gave me a surprised look.

\- No, why? - he asked.

\- I just wonder what love is for you? - I said.

\- It s difficult for me to talk about it, since I have never fallen in love, therefore it s difficult for me to answer your question.

\- And then tell me what you see your girlfriend? - I asked.

-Well, in the first place, she should be slim and smart so that she can support in difficult times, - he said.

-Good qualities, - I noted.

-That's just the years you spend searching for your half, - sighed John.

\- Well, but in the end you find it.

-Well, if luck will smile to someone, - said John.

-The main thing is not to lose your head, - I added.

\- My friend told me that he argued with his brother about what kind of love can be considered genuine.

\- And how successful? - I asked.

-Nope, they didn't find the answer,” John sighed.

-Maybe love is so many-sided that it can transform and take completely different forms, from a mad passion for quiet secret tenderness just one step, and, in fact, these are two sides of one coin, - I said.

\- I agree. And plus there are many types of love, although it s not so important what kind of love it is. It s important that it be in our hearts - big, sincere and pure, and most importantly, each has its own special. By the way, what did you feel when you fell in love with Fiona? - asked John.

-Like everyone else, dizzy, it seemed that we were made for each other, but at some point we cooled off to each other and decided to remain friends, - I replied with a sigh.

\- That's how it is. Did you find someone right now? - John asked.

\- Not yet. And tell me John, would you be able to love a man? - I asked.

John looked at me and his cheeks flushed.

\- I don t know. It's just ... I was raised in a catholic family, well, you know the type of loving someone of your gender is a sin and if I fall in love, I will feel guilty.

-What guilty?” When you love a man? This is ridiculous. If I loved a man I wouldn t feel any guilt.

\- What will your parents think? - John asked excitedly.

-I think they would accept me for who I am, - I grinned.

-I see you and your parents understand each other, - John said, lighting another cigarette.

-Well, yes, - I smiled, and without noticing it, laid a hand on John’s shoulder.

\- What does it mean? - John said in a bewildered voice.

\- Don t worry. Just be what you are, - I said encouragingly.

-I don't even know what to think, - John muttered.

-Johnny, don't be ashamed, just don't be ashamed, - I said.

-Hey, you two, aren't you tired of cooling down? The break is over, - Paul said.

John and I looked at each other and shrugged and went to the others. I don’t know what happened to me that day, but from that moment I realized that I have a little sympathy for John. He hooked me with something, I never thought that I would feel a share of some sympathy or something I couldn t imagine for the young guy. Maybe this is temporary? I don t know. It remains only to wait what will happen next.

POV John.

The conversation with Simon and his hints embarrassed me a little. Indeed, in Catholic families, same-sex love was considered a sin, and I just grew up in a Catholic family. And if I loved a man for example, I think my parents wouldn t approve of it. Although, I myself haven t yet come across this, but I began to feel that feelings for Simon were waking up in me, although I tried to dissuade myself that this wasn t good and I felt guilty and shameful. To experience something to a man? It s unthinkable. Although many people thought that homosexuality is shame and indecent. But the main thing for this the arrests for the homosexuality stopped in 1967. But many people were afraid of what people would say about them and kept it secret. But in my heart I calmed myself, hoping to find myself a girl. Although, I only had fleeting intrigues. And love is hard to find, yes. After the photo shoot is over Nick and I went to a local cafe, while the rest went home. Ordering a cup of coffee with fresh buns Nick saw that something was wrong with me. With Nick we have been friends since our childhood. We even went to the same school and I shared my secrets with him. And Nick feel good when something bothers me or gnaws.

-John, are you all right? - Nick asked.

-Quite yes, - I said.

-You can't tell by your face.” Tell me, what happened to you? - Nick responded with his bright green eyes.

-Mostly nothing, but it seems to me that I am beginning to feel some kind of sympathy for our singer, - I said.

\- Mmmm, do you like Simon?

\- Well... He is very smart, talented, grasps everything on the fly. I just never experienced this, especially with men, - I said with a sigh.

\- So you still like him? - Nick asked.

-I don’t know myself yet, but the fact that he liked me was what I understood for sure, - I said.

\- Maybe this is temporary? Anything can happen, - Nick answered while drinking tea.

\- I have no idea. Let's see what will happen - I concluded.

\- Do you want to walk somewhere? I have nothing to do anyway, - Nick suggested.

\- Ok, at the same time we can relax after a heavy photo shoot, - I agreed.

For two hours we wandered around the park discussing today's photo session.

-By the way, do you remember the case when Andy stumbled three times about the same bucket in a rage and threw it away? - I said laughing.

\- Oh, yes, it’s good that at least the glass wasn’t knocked out with this bucket, otherwise the whole photo session would be a mess.

\- Do you think we will have more photo shoots? - I asked thoughtfully.

\- There will be and I think not one but a million. Still, we also record our debut album, but what about you with this guy that you told me recently? - Nick answered.

\- He said that he would come to see our next concert, and then he would think, but he s not there alone, he and his brother will come.

\- Oh, great. I wonder what will happen next. And about Simon you don t worry, well, if you fall in love, then maybe it will be temporary. Although, what s there to think ahead? We are still working and working, - Nick answered patting me on the shoulder.

\- That's for sure. Oh, listen, have you heard David Bowie's new single "Ashes To Ashes"? - I asked.

\- No, do you have it? - Nick said.

\- Yes, I bought it the day before yesterday. By the way we can go to me and listen together. I can tell you one thing, the song is awesome, maybe soon a clip on it will appear, - I smiled.

-I'm still crazy from his last album, “Heroes, - Nick said.

\- Yes, Bowie is a master of his craft. He recorded so many albums, - I replied.

-Well, he is our mastermind, - Nick added.

After the walk we came to my home. Nick lived near me just like Simon. My parents were glad to see him. We were friends families. After dinner, we went to my room, where we sat listening to the song of David Bowie seemed more than ten times. We both enjoyed this wonderful song and David's bewitching vocals. After that, I took Nicky to his home and, returning back to my room, lay down in bed and began to twist the moments from that day. Maybe sympathy for Simon is really temporary? Or maybe not? I don t know. Wrapped in thoughts, I didn t notice how I fell asleep.


	3. Cos I, I'm Ready To Take All My Chances With You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title was taken from the song "Suddenly" by Olivia Newton John and Cliff Richard.

POV Simon.

January 1981.

That day we started shooting our first video for our debut single "Planet Earth". We planned to release the single in February. At this point, we began to perform frequently in Birmingham and in London. We performed my own songs as well as the songs of our idols. Of course, we had a little public, but for the beginning it was enough. We also have two own managers the Barrow brothers. They were also the owners of the club "Rum Runner", where we continued to earn money, but soon we were hinted that we could do away with this, as it s possible that our group will succeed. The Barrow brothers also helped us to sign a contract with the record company "EMI". And we didn t forget to record our debut album, which we also planned to release this year. In the meantime, we enjoyed the fact that we were shooting our first video. We had to get up early, as we planned to shoot this clip in one day, and we shot in a special pavilion for filming. The director of the clip, became Perry Hines and Russell Mulcahy, may have been found by the Barrow brothers. We immediately liked these guys, it was easy to work with them. We were dressed in amazing costumes, we looked like real new romantics in them. The directors shooted us from different angles, I danced as best I could, and the rest of us played our instruments, the main thing is that we ourselves enjoyed the flowing work process. We even couldn’t think that we were shooting our first video, although we ourselves had previously watched the videos of our favorite artists. But on the set there was one funny moment. John, going to smoke, stared at the girl dancer, who starred in our video and didn t even manage to look at his feet and stumbled fell on a tray with snacks and all the food flew to the floor with drinks.

\- Looks like someone will have to go to the store and buy everything, - Roger sighed, shaking his head.

\- Well, thank you, John. Now we’ll probably hang around here till morning, - Andy growled.

I immediately remembered the footage of the episode where we stood with John, and behind us a dancing couple and John turned in their direction. By that time, John received a scolding and he really decided to go to the store as compensation. And I wanted to help him.

\- Johnny, wait for me, I'm with you, if you don't mind, - I said, walking towards him.

\- No, I don t mind, I think it will be much more fun together, - John said.

Vowing to everyone that we would be back in half an hour, we headed to the local grocery store, which was located near the pavilion. John taking advantage of the fact that we went out could quietly smoke. The cold wind blew in our faces and this made us uncomfortable.

\- I apologize once again that it happened. Because of me, you will probably be sitting there until the next morning, - John began.

\- Stop it, no one blames you. You probably liked that girl? - I asked.

\- It was just interesting how much makeup she put on her face, - John said, smoking the cigarette.

\- That dude was also made up as much as she, - I replied.

\- I didn’t pay attention to him, we ’ve already come, - John said, putting out his cigarette.

We tried to linger in the store for a short time, because we didn’t want to keep the rest of the guys waiting, so we decided to hurry, but didn’t take what would come to hand. There were few people in the store, only the music on the radio sounded throughout the building. Our cart is almost half full. John was looking at what was needed at the next store, while I was looking for the date of manufacture of this product, and so I looked out that I didn’t notice how I had stumbled backwards and stumbled upon John. From surprise, I dropped the food and began to frantically gather, while John, sitting next to me, began to help me.

\- It seems it’s my turn to apologize, - I muttered.

\- It happens, - John grinned.

I don t know why, but something made us look at each other's eyes for a moment. In John's eyes, I saw something that made my heart beat faster and I felt my hands tremble. We would have remained in the same position, if it weren t for the angry voice of the woman who pulled us out of the trance and we hurried to get up and apologized to the woman, she passed by muttering something unintelligible. Finally, we bought what we need, paid off at the checkout and went back to the pavilion. The packages were a bit heavy, but we are no stranger to this situation. Having taken the package to the pavilion, we were finally able to take a breath, of course, being late for several minutes and getting a scolding. But we just didn t pay attention and a having little rest again set to work. We finished at half past midnight after which we headed home. We decided to celebrate this event tomorrow, as we are all terribly tired. I stopped to smoke a cigarette and while I smoked, I noticed John standing there, who was apparently waiting for a taxi, but it still didn’t go. And the subway was just still open. Finishing the cigarette, I thought that maybe John will go home with me on the subway and spend the night with me. And with all determination I went to him.

\- Hey Johnny, I see a taxi is not going? - I asked.

\- Apparently yes. And there is no phone booth as luck would have it, - John sighed.

\- How about going to my house?” - I suggested.

\- Don t you live with your parents? - John asked.

\- Renting an apartment on Lime Grove. Come on. You'll spend the night at my place and call your parents at the same time and warn them, - I said.

\- Well, okay, - John shrugged.

And we went to Shepherds Bush Market station, we traveled to my apartment for half an hour.

\- Come in, make yourself at home, - I said, smiling to let John through.

\- Thank you, - John replied.

\- My phone in my living room, I'm going to change clothes and make tea for us, - I said, before going into the room.

\- Okay, thanks, - John said, smiling.

Having changed into home clothes, I went to the kitchen to make tea for us, while John talked as I understood with his mother. He talked with her judging by his tone with warm love. Having finished the conversation, he went to the kitchen and sat down at the table.

\- Mom apparently worried? - I asked, lit another cigarette.

\- Yes, I'm their only child, -John said.

\- And neither brothers nor sisters? - I asked.

\- No. Do you have? - john answered.

\- Two brothers. I am the eldest and i am in a wonderful relationship with them. With sugar or without? - I asked.

\- Two spoons, please, - John said, putting out a cigarette.

Having poured us a cup of tea, I sat down opposite John. The warm aroma of mint tea relaxed us after a hard day at work. John and I discussed the past day, laughing at funny moments, especially about what happened in the store. Nevertheless, at the same time I felt that something strongly pulls me to John, I don’t know just what, but I was afraid to draw hasty conclusions.

\- By the way, did you notice that in general you are not alone now? - I said suddenly, taking a sip.

\- In what sense? - John asked, looking at me blankly.

\- Well, now you have four of us, we are like brothers and I am sure that our group will have great success, you just need to believe it. - I said, and without noticing it, I put my hand on John's hand.

There was a brief silence between us. We both were silent not knowing what to say. And again this feeling, incredible, which swallowed me. It seemed that time had stopped, I clearly heard the beat of my heart, which beat faster and now it could jump out of my chest. John blushed from embarrassment, slowly I removed my hand.

\- Sorry, didn t i hurt you with this sudden gesture? - I asked quietly.

\- No, no, everything is fine. You know, we really will be successful. We will achieve everything and I believe in it. And do you believe? - John smiled and to my surprise he took my hand in his.

\- Yes, I do, - I replied, and immediately felt like goose bumps running through my body.

"Suddenly the wheels are in motion  
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean  
Suddenly I don't need the answers  
Cos I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you"

Until four in the morning we sat in the kitchen discussing future plans for the group and much more, after which we were tired but satisfied we went to sleep.

POV John.

Paris, September 1981.

I sat in the dressing room and smoked in anticipation of our next concert performance. At that time, much has changed. We finally released our debut album, which finished third in the British charts, and we were all pleased with the end result. In addition, we shot two more clips, "Careless Memories" and "Girls On Film". The number of fans has significantly increased, and more recently we gave club concerts in Birmingham and in London, and now we travel all over Europe, we even managed to visit America, isn’t this a miracle? And this meant that we could have plenty to swim in money, and also our dream with Nick to wake up famous came true, what we dreamed about for a long time, hoped it had come true. Suddenly, all my thoughts were interrupted by an insistent knock on the door.

\- Yes! - I responded.

\- May I come in? - Andy asked.

\- Yes of course. Did you want something?

\- I got something, I decided to share with someone. Alone is very boring, - Andy said.

\- What did you drag? - I asked?

\- Look, - with these words, he pulled out a small black bag with white powder.

\- Where did you get it? - I asked, realizing what kind of powder.

\- Dude gave one. For the sample, as he put it, - Andy said.

\- I'm not sure I want to try this, - I muttered.

\- Don t worry, but relax, calm your nerves, you will become much more confident - Andy smiled.

I wanted to answer, but then, suddenly, Roger entered.

\- No one saw my gloves? - Roger asked.

\- No, but what are they for you? - I replied.

\- I don’t feel like getting the calluses, especially when your hands are working for two hours or an hour, - Roger said.

\- Well, at least they are not in my dressing room, I'll tell you for sure. By the way, Roger, would you like to test the miracle powder with us? - Andy asked.

\- Are you crazy? Fuck this stuff! - Roger frowned.

\- Well, okay, John and I will get more, - Andy said.

\- I haven’t given consent yet, don't forget, Andy, - I replied.

\- Oh please, how tedious you are, - Andy said.

\- Okay, we'll try, but only after the concert, so calm down, - I said.

\- Agreed. Rog, you can think because afterwards will too late? - Andy addressed to Roger.

\- Good, good, you persuaded, - Roger replied irritably.

\- I’m waiting for you in my room, - Andy smiled, and with these words he left the dressing room.

Meanwhile, it was time for us to gather on the stage. Before leaving, I was a little nervous, but then calmed down, and once on the stage I immediately forgot my fear and enjoyed our performance. Simon perfomed on the stage as best he could, teasing the female fans with his body movements, which is why they only squealed louder. But on one of the songs, Simon was so carried away that he managed to stumble and fall, but he managed to roll up and quickly get to his feet. I looked at him as if asking with my eyes, "Is everything alright?" In response, he smiled and winked at me. "So everything is fine, It was luckily soft fall", I thought. After working out the performance, we sat in limousines that took us to the hotel where we were staying. Once in the room, the first thing I did was take a shower to refresh myself a little and relieve the fatigue accumulated during the hours of perfomance. Very soon, I discovered that I was starting to think about Simon. His dances, which he did on stage, fascinated me, I remembered his every movement, his smile, the way he teased the girls, and at the same time it drove me crazy. "God, John, what are you thinking about? Come down from heaven, damn it! How can you think of Simon? He's your friend and partner in the group! Enough! Stop!" With these thoughts, I slammed my fist against the wall and turned on the cold water to finally recover. That helped. Having calmed down, I got out of the shower and, wiping dry, dressed in pants and a shirt, without even having fastened it. Reaching Andy’s room, I knocked on the door, Andy responded twenty seconds later.

\- Come in quickly, Roger and I were already waiting for you, - Andy said, letting me in.

\- Have you prepared everything yet? - I wondered following him into the living room.

\- Oh yes!. I barely got Roger to stay. He already wanted to leave, - Andy answered.

\- Oh, finally, - Roger sighed as he sipped his wine.

\- Well, guys, ready to experience vivid sensations? - Andy said poured some powder on the table.

\- Even I am not sure about that. Can we postpone somehow? - Roger muttered.

\- Rog, you better rejoice that this chance has been given to us, there may be no other, - Andy said.

\- Okay, let's not waste time. Let's start the trial, - I replied.

With these words, I took the bag and poured the powder on a clean table, divided into three lines. Then we took the tubes and breathed in "the most wonderful powder." Sitting on the sofa, I poured us a glass of champagne. Ten minutes later I felt that everything was swimming in my eyes, but I tried to keep myself under control, but it was very difficult. I felt the euphoria swept over my entire body, it just felt good in my heart. All three of us laughed like crazy, but over what, no longer remember, the buzz lasted for about two hours or an hour, we just sat and caught the buzz from the powder, which gave us a surge of strength and energy. Finally I decided it was time to go back to my room.

\- Guys, I guess I'll go, I want to sleep. - I said, feeling that I was already down.

\- Why so early? Maybe still sit? - Andy answered smoking.

\- Yes Andy, we probably go, Thank you for powder, - Roger muttered.

\- Especially since tomorrow we will take the bus to the next town, - I added.

And i went. Coming out of the room I went to my own, suddenly I felt that I was feeling bad, my head was spinning, my legs had become kind of wadded, I leaned against the wall breathing heavily and sliding, it seemed to me that I would be cut out in the hall now, if it weren t for the voice belonging to Simon

\- John, John, are you alright? Johnny wake up! You feel bad? Let' me help you, - with these words, he helped me up, and finding my keys opened the door and took me to the bedroom.

\- Johnny, what's going on? Are you poisoned by something?- Simon asked, bringing me a glass of water.

\- I was a little lowered, I said dryly.

\- In what sense? Are you stuck out under something? I see you have powder in your nose. - Simon Simon leaning closer to me.

\- Just made a trial of the white magic powder, - I sighed.

\- And How? Satisfied? Did you have fun? - asked Simon frowning.

\- Yes, and now can I sleep? My head hurts, and you still ask me the questions, - I said irritably and turned away.

\- Well, as you say, but I'd rather be with you if something happens to you.

\- Am I a small child? - I snapped.

\- That's not the point, I'm worried about you, - Simon replied.

\- Simon, don t worry, I'll take care of myself, No need to be a watchdog for me. Now go please, everything will be fine with me, - I said angrily.

\- Well, as you know, - Simon shrugged and left.

I was left in splendid isolation, lying in bed. I didn t even turn off the lamp and fell asleep forgetting everything.

 

I was awakened by a loud knock at the door, it seemed to me that thieves or someone else was breaking into my room. Somehow getting up from the bed I went to the door and opened it and saw Nick, who was angry.

\- John, we're late for the bus, and you're still sleeping! Get ready already! You, Andy and Roger have apparently gone too far in booze, but tomorrow we will play in Amsterdam. You have exactly fifteen minutes to pack up, - Nick said and left.

I had to gather in a hurry, but it took quite a bit of time, since I didn’t unpack the whole suitcase. Coming out of the room, I shoved the key into the lock and locked the door trying to pull out the key, but for some reason he didn t pull out. “It wasn’t enough for me to break the door,” I thought, feeling panic sweep over me. I was so busy pulling out the key that I didn’t even hear the footsteps.

\- Do you need help? - There was a familiar voice and turning around, I saw Simon in front of me.

Without waiting for my answer, he went to the door and quietly pulled out the key. I couldn t believe with my own eyes, how did he do it?

\- Hold on, take your time next time, - he said, handing me the key and headed for the exit. I silently followed him. Having handed over the key, we headed to the bus, where we were waited.

\- Finally! What has delayed you now? - Nick turned to me with a displeased face.

\- Calm down, Nick, there were just problems with the lock, - I said, flopping into the seat.

\- No wonder, especially after yesterday, - Nick snorted.

\- Nick, stop, really, John is not so good, and you finish him off, calm down, - Simon said, sitting next to me.

Nick muttered incomprehensible, buried in a book. The bus finally got off, I looked out the window and felt uneasy before Simon, especially after yesterday. Plucking up courage, I turned to him.

\- Simon, sorry for yesterday, I wasn t myself, - I said, feeling blushing with embarrassment.

\- It's okay, but I advise you not to indulge in this foolishness, it will not bring any good to it, - Simon anwered with his hand on mine.

My whole body was covered with goosebumps, it felt like I got an electric discharge from Simon's touch. And I felt that further we will be more interesting and intriguing.


	4. You know, you re something special.

POV Simon.

Sri Lanka, April 1982.

I sipped my beer while sitting on the beach enjoying the sunset. We arrived to Sri Lanka to make videos for songs from our new album, due out in the summer. Last summer we recorded some demos for our new album. In October, the single "My Own Way" was released, but for some reason we didn’t like this song ourselves, I don’t know why, maybe it wasn’t good enough or something else. And in January-February we were busy recording the songs for the new album. We almost didn t get out of the studio. Honestly, I was amazed how we managed to record everything during these two months. But now, the time has come to shoot videos for songs and our long-time acquaintance director Russell Mulcahy offered to shoot three videos in exotic Sri Lanka and we agreed, all the more we were interested to go there. The first two have already been filmed, it remains to shoot "Save A Prayer" During these days of filming that were, I managed to get a lot of tan. Between the breaks, we had time to walk, sunbathe, swim and just enjoyed the process of shooting, although sometimes it wasn t easy, but that was ok. But one thing really worried me. This was about John. Since he tried drugs for the first time, he has changed a lot. He began to spend evenings in clubs, where in some sometimes gave this abomination. And he often hung out with Andy and with some girls who also seemed to be high. It irritated me wildly, because before my eyes it wasn t John, but a completely different person. The man who began to absorb dependence on harmful substances. And precisely for this, once sitting in a hotel room I wrote the song "Hold Back The Rain". Moreover, I rewrote the text on another paper and after that, I went to John’s room and quietly stuck the paper through the door slit. The next morning, someone knocked at my door, opening the door and I saw before me John, who was holding a piece of paper and was all red with embarrassment.

\- Is that a new song? - John asked.

\- As you see. - I replied.

\- But could you knock, I would open it and we would discuss everything about the text, - John said.

\- So you slept at this time, I don’t like to wake people up late, - I replied with a shrug.

\- In any case, you can still knock next time, - John said, smiling a little.

\- Good. Maybe have a breakfast together? - I suggested.

\- I will not refuse, - John said and with these words he entered my room.

In the depths of my soul, I hoped that he understood that I had dedicated this song to him, but John didn’t give a sign either. Apparently he was embarrassed to admit it. But sometimes, when he wasn t under the drugs, he could come into my room and we would talk about anything. I noticed that I was increasingly drawn to John, I didn t understand what this was all about, but maybe time will tell what's waiting for us further. But back to the present time. At the moment, I continued to sit all alone, while the others went swimming. But suddenly, I saw that someone was walking towards me. Looking closer, I saw Nick and Roger, who were being led by John. Judging by the look on John's face, a misfortune happened.

\- What happened? - I asked in a worried voice.

\- John vomited. There must have been a sunstroke, - Nick said.

\- Then let's go to my room. Let him lie down, - I replied.

Without stopping, we went up to my room where John was laid.

\- Urgently make compresses. What symptoms did he have? - I asked.

\- Nausea, complained of headache, breathing hard, - Roger said returning with a compress.

\- Clearly, it means that this is an easy degree of impact. You can say so he s lucky, - I replied imposing a compress on John's head.

\- I had that at sixteen when I was vacationing with my parents at the resort, - Nick said.

\- You also got off? - I asked.

\- Yeah, - Nick answered.

\- Maybe we call a doctor? - Roger suggested.

\- Don t worry, I’ll look after John myself. if it gets worse, we’ll call a doctor. But I hope everything will work out, - I said.

\- Well, we trust you, Simon, - Nick answered.

\- We'll come back later, - Roger said.

\- Good. See you later, - I replied.

Closing the door behind them, I returned to John, who apparently began to move away from the blow with a glass of water. Sitting down next to him, I gave him a glass and he drank in an instant. I changed compresses to him, for this moment, we didn t utter a word, until John, in a weak voice, asked for more water. I fulfilled his request. Putting the glass on the nightstand, I put my hand on his.

\- Oh Johnny, and how do you manage to get into such situations? - I asked gently.

\- I don’t know myself, you never know what will happen next time, - John said.

\- Did you drink anything alcoholic? - I asked.

\- Yes, beer, and what? - John answered .

\- You shouldn't have drink it, especially in such hot weather, so you grabbed a sunstroke, - I said.

\- Well, next time I will know, by the way, I completely forgot that you were once a doctor, - John answered.

\- Not really a doctor, but an assistant to the head doctor, but I can be your personal doctor, - I purred, and stroked his cheek.

\- Even so? - John asked a little smile.

\- It s me who can quickly lift you to your feet, - I said, leaning toward him.

In John’s gaze, I noticed bewilderment and embarrassment. But I couldn t help myself and I couldn t stop, leaning closer to him, I kissed him lightly on the lips. Looking into his eyes again, this time I saw fear and interest at the same time. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, I stood up straight and went to open the door. Opening it, I saw Nick, Roger and a man in a white coat, as it turned out it was a doctor.

\- We thought it would be better if John was examined by a professional doctor, do you mind? - Nick said.

\- No, no, of course, come in, - I replied, letting all three in.

The doctor examined John and confirmed my words about the mild degree of sunstroke and advised to rest for a day or two. After giving the necessary instructions, the doctor left with Nick and Roger. Closing the door behind them, I went back to John.

\- Listen, maybe I’ll go better to my room, - John said in a weak voice.

\- No, no, lie down, you need to recover, - I replied, crouching next to him.

\- But I’m uncomfortable in front of you, - John said.

\- Stop it, you never give me any inconvenience.” Maybe you want something? - I asked.

\- Can I have another glass of water, please? My throat is dry, - John said.

\- It will be fulfilled, - I replied, and complied with his request.

\- Why do you care about me so much? - John asked.

\- Because you are my best friend, and friends care about each other, - I replied, sitting down beside him.

\- In my opinion, we now have more than friends, - John said nervously fiddling his hands.

\- Don't be afraid of Johnny, just be yourself, - I replied, stroking his cheek.

\- It's easy for you to say, I am a little scared myself, because we are friends, we cannot allow our partnership to go further, - John said and I saw his cheeks turn red.

\- Johnny, your Catholic upbringing still in you, push it away from you, because it binds you, just relax, - I said, and, all of a sudden, I kissed him unexpectedly.

John’s eyes widened in shock, he resisted for a few seconds, but then he gave up under my powerful onslaught and began to kiss me back. My hand slid over his chest, my fingers felt his nipples, which hardened. "Seems I turned him on," I thought to myself, continuing to kiss him. And everything would have continued further if John hadn t abruptly dodged.

\- What? - I asked.

\- Simon, please, let's not rush to this, I'm not ready for this, - John said, blushing.

\- So we didn’t even start, - I grinned and wanted to kiss him again, but John stopped me.

\- I'm really not ready, Simon. Please! - John literally begged.

\- Ok, Johnny, but then let me just kiss you, we won't have any more than kisses, I promise, - I said soothingly, stroking him.

\- Good... And yet, no one should know about this, including our guys. They can understand us wrong, - John sighed nervously.

\- I understand Johnny, - I replied.

And we just layed and kissed, like teenagers in love. I tried to control myself in order not to completely scare John. It was evident that he was very nervous, maybe I really hurried and I shouldn t have gone so far? A moment later, we both fell asleep tired. I laid my head on his chest and the sound of his heart lulled me to sleep.

After a day or two, John became much better and we continued shooting the video and we decided to celebrate the end of the shooting at one of the local bars. We sat, drank and discussed everything that happened in Sri Lanka. I must say, it was a terrific time that we spent. At the same time, I was watching John, who had already managed to beat up a pretty girl and chatted nicely with her. Half an hour later, while I managed to chat with the guys at the same time and watch John, I saw how John embracing her around the waist went with her, maybe to his room. And a feeling of jealousy suddenly woke up in me. Strange of course, but jealous of John to some girl, this is all the more unthinkable.

\- Hey Simon, what are you doing? - the voice of Nick brought me out of trance.

\- What? - I asked.

\- Your glass in your hand broken, - Nick said.

With my head down, I saw that my hand was in fragments and was bleeding. Cursing, I shook off the fragments and went to the toilet to wash off the blood and bandage the wounds. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to understand what was happening to me, Did I really go crazy to the point that I was jealous of John? Apparently I'm really losing my mind. I splashed water on my face trying to recover. Having calmed down a bit, I headed back to the guys, who, as if on cue, turned to me and noticed that I was back.

\- Simon, something wrong? - Nick asked.

\- Don t worry, it's just that I firmly squeezed the glass, didn t calculate the strength, - I said.

\- And in my opinion, the reason lies in something else, - Andy said.

\- What do you mean by that? - I asked irritably.

\- Andy, let's go and have a smoke, let Nick talk to Simon, - Roger said, and with these words he hastily stole Andy.

\- Well, so what happened? - Nick asked.

\- Nick, I don't want to tell you, you will misunderstand me, - I said, pouring myself a drink.

\- The way you watched John, I already noticed. But you don t accidentally crush on our Johnny? - Nick didn t let up.

\- Nick, I'm not ready to discuss this, please, let's change the subject, - I replied by drinking a sip of vodka.

\- Well, just don’t get drunk before the pig squeal, but if anything, I’m ready to listen to you at any time, - Nick said holding out a cigarette.

\- Thank you, I'll keep in mind, - I replied, taking a cigarette and lighting it.

The rest of the time, we spent in the bar, sharing impressions about the shooting and other things. Already after we went to our rooms, I took a shower and went to bed and was about to fall asleep, but suddenly I heard moans behind the wall, feminine and masculine. Male belonged to John, I immediately recognized his voice. And a woman ... maybe the one who went with him. I could give up and fall asleep, but their loud moans stirred me up and I felt everything bubbling inside me and my hand automatically slid down. I closed my eyes and began to stroke myself, listening to the sweet, passionate sounds behind the wall, imagining myself ... with John instead of this woman. God, that gets up my mind, but I somehow managed to push away oppressive thoughts from myself and allowed to drown myself in pleasant pleasure. I imagined that I embraced his frail, thin body, feeling him inside me. For a moment, it seemed to me that something suggested that sooner or later it will happen to us, whether we like it or not. The pleasure lasted for about ten minutes and feeling the approach of an orgasm, I covered my mouth with my hand, squeezing the cry of pleasure, feeling the sperm pouring from my cock into my belly.   
I wouldn t want a couple to hear my scream, especially the sounds behind the wall gradually subsided. When at last silence reigned, I barely got out of bed and went to take a second shower. I would be uncomfortable to sleep in sweat and in stickiness, especially since I had to finally come to my senses, too many thoughts for today. Finally, I lay back and quickly fell asleep.

POV John.

Antigua, May 1982.

That night I couldn t sleep, although I tried, but something inside was bothering me. Having thrown all attempts to fall asleep, I got out of bed and threw on a robe, went to the balcony to smoke. It was a warm night outside, it was nice to take a breath of the night, fresh air and just look at the stars. What I did, thinking that later it would help me to sleep. We came to Antigua to shoot two clips one from the new album "Rio", due out in July of this year, and the second on "Nightboat", we continued to promote our singles, occasionally performing in various TV shows like "Top Of The Pops". We became more and more popular day by day. We have a lot of fans who haven t given us a step. Magazines were filled with our images, in general, we could now consider ourselves superstars. But suddenly, I remembered our kiss with Simon in Sri Lanka, I was certainly grateful for his concern, that he showed me, but I was afraid that our relationship would go beyond, although in my heart I wanted more than friendship, but fear kept me from temptation. Although, after the shooting, we talked as usual, but he often looked at me and it confused me. I tried to hide my secret feelings for him in myself, but sooner or later they can go outside. Drowning in my thoughts, I didn t even hear a knock on the door; when I heard it, I rushed to the door and looked into the peephole, saw Nick. I hurried to open to him.

\- You don t sleep? - Nick asked.

\- Tried, something doesn t work, and you?

\- You can say the same thing, maybe we will smoke together? To smoke alone sometimes is boring, - Nick suggested.

\- With pleasure, - I said, letting him in to me.

At the same time, I felt that I needed to speak. Nick, like no one else, could listen to me, I always trusted him with my secrets, worries, because I knew that I could always rely on him and he always felt when something tormented me inside me. And now he could read all the experiences on my face.

\- I think something bothers you, am I right? - Nick asked.

\- Yes, you're right. Remember we chatted about Simon? - I said.

\- About the fact that he is not indifferent to you? Yes I remember. Why? - Nick answered lighting.

\- I kissed him. And it happened in Sri Lanka. That was when I got a sunstroke. Imagine, I never kissed guys and it was an incredible feeling. But I’m afraid to go crazy, in my opinion I’m starting to like Simon, although it shouldn’t happen and I’m afraid to imagine what people will think, I feel even now that you think I'm crazy, - I said.

\- No, you're not crazy. It's just that maybe a temporary crush, or maybe... maybe it's fate that you need to be together, - Nick replied.

\- But I'm not gay, I love women, I try to spend a lot of time with them, - I retorted, feeling that I was blushing.

\- Not gay, but maybe you love Simon deep down, but you try to hide it. If you love him, I won't blame you, - Nick said.

\- I'm not ready yet to admit it. I even told Simon that I wasn t ready for our further relationship and that I want us to remain friends. And he seemed to understand. But he often looks at me, I sometimes want to run away, so as not to see his gaze. It just kills me, - I replied.

\- I think you shouldn't be afraid, because sooner or later Simon will get you, and I know that, he will not give up without a fight,- Nick said putting out a cigarette.

\- Anything can happen. But on this time, I m not ready for further relations, so let it be as it is now, - I replied.

\- This is your life and you make your decisions, you know better, - said Nick.

\- Nick, thank you for listening to me, at least I feel better, - I smiled, patting him on the shoulder.

\- Not at all. I will always support you whatever happens. Friends should support each other, right? - Nick said.

\- Exactly, - I summed up.

\- Well then, see you in the morning. Good night, - Nick said.

\- Thank you, Good night,- I replied.

After closing the door behind him, I went to bed and quickly fell asleep.

Los Angeles, July 29, 1982.

Andy's wedding was set that day. Our Andy became the first member of the group who was going to marry. His chosen one was Tracy Wilson with whom he had met since 1981, in February they had an engagement and now they were going to bond their hearts with marriage. We naturally were happy for them. Tracy worked as a stylist in our group, it was her who noticed Andy. I was lucky to become a witness on the part of Andy, Andy himself shone with happiness, because he finally found his soul mate, even though he was a little nervous, but tried not to show it. After the ceremony, we gathered at the club, where we celebrated the wedding of the newlyweds, everyone enjoyed themselves as much as possible, there were few people, but that was enough for us.

\- Who would have thought that so soon we will be celebrating our colleague's wedding? - Simon asked smiling.

\- Oh yes! I think in the future we will still have many celebrations, including wedding ones, and I think the next one is just around the corner, - Roger said.

\- Why are you so sure? - I asked.

\- Maybe not sure, but I just assumed, - Roger said, taking a sip of wine.

\- And break a million girlish hearts, - Simon laughed.

\- One of us has already broken, who is next? Your bets gentlemen, - Nick said jokingly.

Meanwhile, slow music began to play, everyone began to look for a couple, for a slow dance. I myself wouldn t mind dancing, but unfortunately all the gentlemen took all the girls   
who were there. I decided to smoke and suddenly behind me I heard Simon's unexpected whisper.

\- Can we dance? - He suggested in a whisper.

I didn t believe my ears turned to him and looked at him.

\- I heard right? Do you want to dance? With me? - I asked.

\- Yes, Johnny, - Simon answered and stroked my cheek.

Everything inside of me turned. Dance with a man? With my group partner? This is unthinkable, especially what people will think about us? Especially our colleagues. Although in my heart I wanted it, but another part of me resisted.

\- Johnny, did you sleep? - Simon's voice brought me out of agonizing thoughts.

\- I'm sorry, I thought, I don't know, I feel embarrassed in front of people, - I said, blushing.

\- You don t need to pay attention to them, let them think what they want, you can imagine that I am a woman, - Simon answered.

With these words, he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I followed him in silence, realizing that it was useless to refuse. Stepping out into the middle of the dance floor, Simon put his arm around my waist, and I had no choice but to just dance with him and not look at the others, who turned as if on cue.

Let me in here  
Let me into your heart  
Let me know you  
Let me roll it to you,

All I have is yours  
All you see is mine  
I love you in my arms  
I'd have you anytime,

It seemed to us that we were alone, for a moment I felt the warmth spreading through my body, I could clearly hear how our hearts were knocking in unison to the music. I forgot all the doubts and just swayed with Simon, his hands holding tight to my waist. Although I myself hardly believed that I agreed to dance with him, I found the courage to look into his eyes. God, his eyes just glowed, almost blinding, his smile fascinated me, I allowed him to even cling to me. One song took turns after another, and we continued to dance as if magnetized. When the music finally subsided, we stopped, I found the strength to smile at him and whisper "thank you." In response, he winked at me.

\- You know, you're special, - Simon whispered to me.

You know you re something special and you looke like you re the best.

I just smiled shyly and we both headed to the bar to take a breath. All those people continued to look at us in surprise, as if we were aliens.

\- Guys, I don't know what it was, but it was awesome and a bit shocking, - Roger spoke first.

\- And what exactly shocked you? What we danced together? Well, men snapped up all the girls, so I thought it would be nice to dance with John, do you have something against that? - Simon said.

\- But that's rather weird. Moreover, we wouldn t want someone who could capture this performance, - Andy added.

\- Let them write whatever they want, I don’t care about someone’s opinion, - Simon snorted.

\- Simon, you forget who we are. What will people think about us anyway? - Andy didn t let up.

\- Does it bother you so much? - Simon asked in an angry tone.

\- Guys, let's leave all the questions for later, we have the celebration, have you forgotten? - Nick said.

But this conversation really hurt me and I hastily decided to retire from everyone. Having lit up, I wondered, can Andy really be right and we shouldn't overdo it with relationships? Especially, if the guys have already noticed that there s something more friendly between Simon and me, then there will be no escaping from this question. And I began to regret that I let Simon lead me to the dance. How am I going to watch the rest of people at the eyes now? I decided not to return to the others and quickly went to the nearest car, which took me back to the hotel. When I got to the room, I plopped down on the bed and indulged in various thoughts that tore me from the inside. Deciding that I had enough, I got out of bed and took out my bag and found a small bag of cocaine, which remained. Pouring on the line, I breathed in powder and waited for the effect. I had to forget, run away from the reality that was haunting me. Twenty minutes later I felt the euphoria inside me and I felt insanely good. I didn t think that I would be saved by this from problems. It seemed to me that some time had passed before I heard a loud knock at the door. Staggering, I headed for the door and opened it, I saw Simon in front of me. "What the hell does he need from me?" I thought to myself.

\- Why did you leave without warning anyone? - Simon asked entering my room.

\- Should I have? - I said closing the door.

\- Because we were worried about you. You could at least say you’ll go to a hotel, - Simon replied.

\- I had reasons for that, - I said.

\- What are the same? Sniff the powder and fly away again ?? - judging by the tone Simon began to get angry.

\- Not only. Do you remember the conversation with the guys? - I said.

\- Well, yes, and then?

\- So I ran away because of this, so as not to listen to the condemnations of others.

\- Oh my God John, who should care?

\- Judging by the conversation it worried everyone. Especially Andy.

\- That jerk doesn't know what he's saying, don't take it seriously, John. And then cocaine is not salvation. You can t always run away from the problems in this way.

\- And I myself will decide what to do. And yes, Simon, it would be better if you find yourself a girlfriend. I don t want anyone to think further that we have more than friendship, - I blurted out.

\- So we have nothing but kisses.

\- But I see how you look at me, show signs of attention and everyone noticed this, - I continued.

\- John, are you so afraid of the opinions of others? This is ridiculous! - Simon snort.

\- Perhaps, but I think it would be better for both of us. I want that no one else ask us about this, - I said.

\- Ok, if you insist so well, good, but I will destroy this abomination. You should finish with cocaine, - Simon said.

With these words, he took the remains of cocaine and flushed them into the toilet. Honestly, I wanted to kill him for it, but I restrained myself. After getting rid of traces of powder, Simon headed for the exit, opening the door, he looked at me and in his eyes I saw sadness. Perhaps he fell in love with me, but I wasn t yet absolutely ready for this. After he left, I collapsed on the bed and lay awake most of the night thinking about the past day.


	5. You Can t Hurry Love, You ll Just Have To Wait.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon having fun with John, when someone caught them.

POV Simon.

Chalette, Cannes, May 1983.

I woke up from the singing of chirping birds, the sun had already risen long ago and I thought about sleeping again for an hour more, but apparently the dream quickly evaporated. Since we released Rio, loud fame has fallen on us. The album brought us great fame and a huge fee, our clips are constantly played on "MTV". And the tour in support of the album was very exciting. The full halls of the people, screaming girls who were chasing us. We just enjoyed our great success. We even managed to perform at the New Year's concert in New York, which was then played on the same MTV. But now we were busy recording our third album. Before that we released the single "Is There Something I Should Know", which turned out to be very successful, but now the label wanted new material from us. And in order not to pay taxes, we decided to record the new album in France and we were offered a place of Chalette, in Cannes. A very beautiful, secluded place with a big mansion where we could live and record an album, there was even a pool with a tennis court. I could say we were lucky with luxury. In our free time from recording the album, we had fun as best we could, sometimes in the evenings we would have great parties with a few people. We planned to release the album by the end of the year. As for my personal life, I was lucky to finally meet the girl I met when the group was on a break from the tour. Her name was Claire Stansfield, she is 18 and she worked as a model. We met in a London cafe, she fascinated me with her sense of humor, it was fun with her and I even forgot about John for a while. All this free time that was given out, I spent with Claire, during tours I often called her when time was given. And she herself was often on the road. After that New Year's concert, we flew to Spain to enjoy the sea cruise on the yacht, which we rented, after shooting the video "Rio" I had a strong passion for yachts. I liked to swim on the sea, to watch how sea creatures swim under water, to watch how the water glistens in the sun, isn't that a miracle? But I had to go back to everyday life. When I flew to Cannes, she promised to fly to me at the first opportunity, she herself flew to Germany, to visit her mother's relatives. And now I was lying in bed staring blankly at one point, but I wasn t lying alone, but with ... John. Yes, yes, precisely with John. Since all the participants in the recording of the album occupied all the rooms, John had no choice but to share a room with me, I actually didn t mind. From that conversation after the Andy s wedding, John tried to stay away from me, I certainly understood that he was afraid of all this talk and suspicion about the two of us. Oh, this Andy !!! Though I met Claire, but my feelings for John didn t fade away, but grew stronger and I didn t know what to do with it and how I should be. And now I was lying with him in the same bed. John mumbled something unintelligible, turned in my direction and hugged the pillow. I glanced up and realized that I couldn t take my eyes off him, how cute he looks when he sleeps, just like a baby. I fought the urge to touch him. Realizing that I still wouldn t stand, I gave myself the will, but I had to act carefully. Carefully putting my hand on his cheek, I began to gently stroke, God, his cheek was soft as a feather. Then I switched to the line of his face, slowly running his finger over it, John’s face was clearly pronounced and this can be seen in all the photos with him. "God, am I really doing this? I pet my friend and colleague in the group. Can it not be??" I thought to myself without taking my eyes off John. My hand automatically began to stroke his bare shoulder, i felt that inside all began to slowly boil, i need to somehow cope with myself, so as not to go crazy, but at that moment it was difficult for me. I couldn t even restrain myself from touching his prominent collarbones. Oh, he so cool! Even in magazines he was called the sexiest man and this is not surprising. But why I myself find him sexy for myself, I just couldn t understand, apparently adrenaline hited me in the head. I wanted so much to kiss him, but again I need to control myself, otherwise I will just scare him with my unpredictable actions. I had already begun to stroke his lips, which tempted me, but suddenly John opened his eyes.

\- What are you doing? - he asked.

\- Well, i... I couldn t sleep, - I replied, feeling that I was blushing.

\- And you decided to touch me? Cleverly invented, - John grinned.

\- You... you just look very cute when you sleep, - I said.

\- Well, I know that you breathe unevenly to me. And you already have a girl, as I recall, but apparently this is not enough for you, - John answered.

\- You know what, yes! I still can t forget you! Even when I'm with Claire, I can't stop thinking about you! You may think that I am crazy, but I still like you! - I said in one breath.

\- So I also had a girlfriend, if you want to know, - he answered.

\- Hah! You change them like gloves! I know you! How many times I went into the room and you fucked another girl. You're just lying about a girl, although you might like me too, but you're afraid to admit it, - I said.

\- I don t know myself what to think! Simon, I'm scared! They will not understand us! - John muttered.

\- Maybe the time will come and we will be together, and our time will come, I can feel it, - I said, stroking John's cheek.

\- Are you going to part with your girlfriend? - John asked.

\- Not yet, I don’t know what awaits us in the future, although we will soon have an anniversary when we met, - I said thoughtfully.

\- Don t you think that we use girls as a cover for our real entities? - John asked.

\- Maybe, but surely it will not last long. In the meantime, Claire is not there, let's have fun with each other? - I suggested.

\- What do you mean? - John asked, looking at me blankly.

\- And that's what, - I said, and with these words I leaned over John and bit into his lips.

\- What are you doing? - John was taken aback trying to move away from me.

\- Don't ask questions, just enjoy! - I whispered continuing to kiss him.

\- But I'm not ready! - John protested.

Without listening to him, I started kissing his neck, gradually going down to his chest, while my hand found his cock and I began to run my hand over him, prompting a passionate hiss from John. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back, clutching the sheet in his hands. I threw the blanket off our bodies, because it fettered us and plus the temperature in our bodies rose to the red-hot limit. Me, not letting his cock out of my hands, felt his left nipple with my lips and began to gently caress it with my tongue, sometimes biting, only rattles and moans were heard from John’s lips, lifting myself up, i took John’s hand and directed it to my cock, which made John blush wildly.

\- Take it, don't be afraid, - I whispered in his ear.

\- What should I do? - John asked, still red as a tomato.

\- Just do what I do with your "Little one", - I replied.

John, still embarrassed by this turn of events, slowly began to run his hand over my excited cock. I groaned, closing my eyes from the rolling pleasure, feeling everything boil inside me.

\- Do you like it when I do it to you Johnny? - I asked, looking into his eyes.

\- Y-yes. - John squeezed.

\- I can t hear! - I hissed.

\- Yes! Yes! Please don t stop!- John moaned.

Our hands sped up, sweat poured from our bodies, we moaned, at the same time fearing that we might be heard. In the eyes of John, I saw shame and pleasure, filled with passion. I once again dug into his seductive lips, oh, how I would like this moment to last forever!

\- Simon... I am now... - John croaked, looking up from the kiss.

\- I am almost... - I replied with a gasp.

And seconds later, we simultaneously poured at each other like explosive fountains, uttering silent screams, reveling in the wave of pleasure that covered both of us. Exhausted, I collapsed on John and he hugged me tighter. It took us a long time to take a breath. The first to break the silence is John:

\- God Simon! It was awesome! - he whispered.

\- I see you like it? - I said, raising my head and looking at him.

\- Yes. I didn’t think that I could experience this with you, - John replied with a smile.

\- Me too. I think we should deal with this more often with you, - I said, touching his cheek.

\- That would be nice, - John grinned.

We continued to chat about everything, until the door suddenly opened...

\- Guys, you will be long ... Oh My God! - we heard the voice of Roger.

We both jumped as if scalded, pulling the blanket over us. Roger turned away, trying not to look at us.

\- Were you given hands just to beat the drums ?? And it was impossible for you to knock on the door?? - I asked in an annoyed voice.

\- So everyone were already waiting for you to get out there, I was sent for you, that's all, - Roger grumbled.

\- Tell the guys that we will come up now and try only to tell what you saw, I'll kill you! - I said.

\- Oh, fuck it to me to tell, Do you think i m totally crazy?? - Roger snorted and turned away to go away.

\- Asshole. - I sighed.

I turned to John, he was already dressed, his face was red, it was immediately clear that he was burning with shame from what we were caught. I tried to take situation into my own hands.

\- Johnny, don t take it to heart. Roger will forget about it, I’m sure, - I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

\- Things are not as simple as you think, - John growled, pulling away from me.

\- What's wrong with you John? A few minutes ago you were completely different! - I lost my temper.

\- We shouldn t have to do this, especially Roger caught us! - John retorted.

\- So he entered when we didn’t do it anymore, and I just stroked you!

\- Next time, keep your playful hands away from me! - John shouted and flew out of the room.

I was very depressed by John's sudden change of mood, I grabbed a pillow and threw it against the door, then i decided to go to the balcony to smoke. When will John stop worrying about our relationship? I would have been used to it in his place long time ago and wouldn t have been soared about this and I wouldn t give a damn what others might say. And how now it will affect our relationship, not to mention the relationship with Claire. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

\- Phone to you, - said Roger.

\- Who is it? - I asked.

\- Claire, asking for you urgently, - Roger said.

Hastily dressed only in jeans, I went to the phone, where Claire was waiting for me on the other end of the line.

\- Hi, Simon, - I heard the familiar, sweet voice of my beloved girlfriend (?)

\- Hi, bunny, how are you? - I said in a cheerful voice.

\- Everything is super, tomorrow I will be in Cannes and I will be able to be with you for three whole weeks, then I need to leave for the next shootings, will you not be offended?

\- No, of course, I understand everything, if you knew how much I missed you.

\- And I missed you, so wait for me tomorrow.

\- By all means, I'll pick you up from the airport.

\- Then, see you tomorrow, honey.

\- See you tomorrow, sweetheart, - I said, and hung up.

Claire flew in the morning and as promised I had taken her from the airport. All these three weeks, we were constantly with each other, walking, fooling around in general, spending carefree time. But sometimes I got depressed when I watched John, who spent time with one girl, then with another, I looked away so that he didn t see that I was watching. And at the picnic organized by us, I couldn’t take my eyes off him, even when I was hugging Claire over her shoulder and I managed to look at him, who was laughing carelessly at Andy’s gags. Already lying in bed, I couldn t sleep, questions were spinning in my head. What is happening to me? Why do I still so much pulls to John? Does this strange feeling not let me go and continue to torment me and him? But I'm not gay, no, no, this can t be! After all, I love Claire, but why do my feelings switch to John? This is very strange, although on the one hand I wasn t afraid of condemnation from other people, but on the other hand, what people might think about us and, all the more, it worried John very much. And it seems I was trapped from which I need to get out. Driving painful thoughts away from me, I quickly fell asleep.

 

POV John.

London, December 1983.

I sat in the dressing room, sipping Coke, waiting for a concert. This was our third concert at Wembley Arena, and after all there are many large-scale stars performing there. Our new, third album "Seven And Ragged Tiger" was released a month ago. The album was successful as the previous one and ranked first in the international charts. It’s not for nothing that we worked hard in Cannes. Before that, in july we also performed before Princess Diana and Prince Charles in Birmingham and were able to chat a little with them after the concert. We were a favorite group of Princess Diana, and it was very pleasant for us to know. But i couldn t forget the memory that Roger caught me and Simon and this was disgusting to me, now I was embarrassed in front of him every time when I sometimes gave an interview with him or sat next to him. Roger himself, apparently forgot this incident, but it seemed to me that it wasn t so, I couldn t even dare with him on this frank conversation, although I wanted to talk with him about it, but put it off until later. I tried not to speak with Simon or not to notice him at all, so as not to fall under his spell, and if we spoke, it was only on business. It s strange only if he has a girlfriend, then why me? For fun? Why the hell did I give him up? Although that little sexual experience that was between us, strangely enough, I liked it, despite the fact that I refused to admit it, even to myself. While I was indulging in thoughts, there was a knock on the door.

\- May come in? - Roger asked.

\- Yes, of course, - I replied.

\- I just forgot to take the water, - Roger said.

\- Rog! - I began.

\- Yes.

\- Sorry about this incident in Cannes.

\- What are you talking about? - Roger asked not knowingly looking at me.

\- Well, when you caught me with Simon.

\- Oh, that s what are you talking about? Well, if you hadn’t reminded me, I wouldn’t remember it, - Roger laughed.

\- I’m really very embarrassed in front of you, Rog, I’m afraid to imagine what you thought about me and Simon, - I said.

\- Well, I didn’t think anything, I just didn’t expect me to find you like this, I have nothing against you both, do what you want, but only so that your relationship doesn t affect the group.

\- Can it somehow affect the group? - I asked.

\- I don t know, but I hope that it will not affect, at least it seems to me, - Roger sighed.

\- I'm glad you're not angry, - I said, smiling.

\- I didn’t think I was angry, after all, we should support each other no matter what, - Roger replied, patting me on the shoulder.

I felt that I needed to talk to Nick and I decided to do it after the concert. We played the concert very well, the audience was delighted, the girls screamed as usual, some people danced. Already in the room, having taken a shower, I was about to go to Nick, when someone knocked on the door, opened the door, I saw Nick.

-I already wanted to go to you, - I laughed.

\- I had another sense that something is disturbing you, will I come in? - Said Nick, smiling.

\- Yes, yes, of course, - I answered, letting him in.

Pouring a glass of dry red wine, we sat down on the sofa.

\- So what have you got this time? - Nick began after a moment of silence.

\- I don’t even know where to start, I said.

\- By the way, why were you so nervous in Cannes? Did something happen to Simon? I noticed that you both don't communicate much with each other, and you run away from him as if from a fire, - answered Nick.

\- Nick, the thing is... God, I already feel ashamed to admit it!

\- Don t pull, tell everything as it is, at least I will listen, - Nick said.

\- Well, in general, Simon and I were small... how do you say...

\- Did you have sleep?”

\- Not really, in short, we jerked each other, and after that, Roger unexpectedly entered to us. Nick, you have no idea what was going on inside me when he saw me with Simon...

\- Well, so he came after you did it, I could understand him, if he came during your sexual act.

\- But I was worried that he knew what Simon and I might have thought, I apologized to him today, so he turned out and didn t recall the incident.

\- Well, you see how everything turned out well, imagine if Andy saw, he would have gone mad, - Nick laughed.

“Oh, better not be needed, I lacked morality Andy, - I said, taking a sip.

\- What else bothers you?

\- The fact that I don’t know what to do with the feeling that still eats away from me and from which I run away, namely, feelings towards Simon never haunt me.

\- So Simon have Claire.

\- And even this didn t prevent him from having fun with me, in the bedroom, - I retorted.

\- Although, I noticed that he looked at you often, and you didn t even look at him.

\- I didn’t want those people to think that it was obvious, so I didn’t look at him. And I'm still looking for my girlfriend, I need it to escape from this feeling that will soon bring me to unconsciousness.

\- Oh, I have one magazine with me, there are beautiful girls, maybe you will like one of them? Hold on, - with these words he handed me a magazine and I saw on the cover a beautiful girl who seemed to me to have liked.

\- Wow, I saw her in the new James Bond movie "Octopussy"! - I said looking at the beautiful girl on the cover.

\- As far as I know, she’s also a model, - Nick said.

\- Perhaps she, what I need, since her name is? Yeah, Janine Andrews, i need to find her urgently. Nick, thanks, you helped me a lot, - I said patting my friend's shoulder.

\- No problem, - Nick replied, grinning nervously.

The next few days I spent searching for Janice and finally, I managed to find the number of the modeling agency where she worked, as well as her own. Janice was very surprised to see me with a large bouquet of roses, but accepted my invitation for a date, which was very successful. And we also spent Christmas together. And now I was hoping that I would finally be able to put down that feeling that had bothered me for several months. But as it turned out, I was mistaken in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that i made you wait for a new chapter. It took for me a long time to make a chapter.


	6. I Want To Know What Love Is, I Know, You Can Show Me.

POV Simon.

March 19, 1984, New York.

That day we had a concert in Madison Square Garden. We had a continue to the Sing Blue Silver Tour. Last year we played in the UK and Australia, in this we had a tour around almost the whole USA, before that we played concerts in Japan and Canada, which were held with a big full house. The girls squealed to a state of fainting, they even sometimes waiting for us at the hotel, ran after our limousines. In general, we are now in the shoes of the Beatles, when Beatlemania rattled in the 60s, and now it was replaced by Duranomania in the 80s. And everything repeated in exactly the same way. We were just fucking crazy about everything that was happening, because most recently we played in the clubs of Birmingham and London and tried to conquer the USA. And we succeeded, but for us it was a surprise that everything spun so fast and we didn t know whether to be glad or upset. I didn’t even have time to call Claire, because after the concert, we immediately ran into a plane and flew to another city. And so flew days after days, one city after another, on the stage we gave all our best, if we still had the strength, then we arranged after-parties in some club. And now, being in New York, I had the opportunity to call Claire, dialing her number, I began to wait for an answer, after a few seconds, I finally heard her voice.

\- Hello?

\- Hello, how are you? - I asked.

\- Not really, but judging by your cheerful voice, you have fun, - she answered coldly.

\- Claire, are you out of sorts? - I asked, I feel that something is wrong with her.

\- In what spirit should I be when there have been no calls or letters from you since February. You just now remembered that you have me?

\- Claire, what stupid things you say? I didn’t forget about you, you just don’t know how it feels to run from one plane to another, then work out a concert and again on the plane. Believe me, I was only able to break free now, - I said feeling irritated.

\- Oh, how busy we are, as if I'm not busy! But, I would call as soon as possible, but not after two months, but at least once a week.

\- What are you blaming me for? What are you missing? - I asked angrily.

\- Nothing, you just have sex with girls, but you completely forgot about me.

\- But who told you this stupidity ?? Are you off the coils ?? Why are you making me nervous ?? - I almost fell into a scream.

\- But don’t you do the stars in this, that you organize an orgy after concerts ?? After all, this is what you are doing, right?

\- You know what, Claire , I'm not going to make excuses for you, we'll talk when you're in a normal mood.

\- Yeah, yeah, go yourself and fuck with another girl, a womanizer, - with these words she hung up.

I threw the phone, everything in me shook with anger. Who is she to suspect me ?? I didn t fuck with the girls, and i had no time for it. What sex, when you fly from one city to another ?? Is it really impossible to simply accept the fact that I was very busy and couldn t catch the possibillity to call? And I wrote the letter back in March, is it really lost? I collapsed onto the sofa and lit a cigarette, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

\- May I come in? - came the voice of John.

\- Yes, come in, - I answered.

John came in with some sort of black bag. He seemed suspicious to me, John was going ...

\- Why are you so sad? -John asked.

\- Well, Claire made a scene of jealousy over the phone, well, I couldn’t call her, we were busy, and she thought that I had forgotten about her and exchanged her for some girls, that I fuck them and other nonsense. This is normal?

\- Of course not. But these are women, and they are always jealous, - John grinned.

\- I don’t understand such people, I can be jealous too, but not so much, by the way, how are you doing with Janice? - I asked in a cigarette.

\- Fine, she will fly to Oakland soon, she s still filming, but why yours doesn’t fly to you? - John asked.

\- Busy on set too, - I sighed.

\- Hey, do you want to relax? - asked John with a smile.

\- In what sense? - I answered without understanding anything.

\- Sniff cocaine, move away from tension, - John said with a wink.

\- You still have drug addiction? - I asked.

\- I still not ready to get down, well, please keep me company, please! - John said making a mournful grimace.

\- Why are you pulling me into this?” Couldn t find anyone else, such as Andy or Roger? - I asked in exasperation.

\- They didn’t want to, and generally stop building themselves a sissy, at least make a test. Do you want me to get on my knees?

\- Okay, okay, I give up, - I replied, sighing, realizing that John would have achieved his goal anyway.

Smiling, John sat on the sofa and poured white powder from a bag onto a black table, dividing it into two thin lines.

\- Done, come on, you're the first, - John said holding out the straw.

I myself reluctantly took the straw and bent over, began to inhale this nasty powder, John followed my example. And then suddenly I felt the lightness that swept all over my body and the adrenaline rush. The room in my eyes was painted with bright colors and a quarrel with Claire quickly disappeared from my head. I sat back on the couch, staring at the ceiling, on which patterns began to appear. John and I seemed to sit for ages, none of us uttered a word, in my opinion, when you're high, words here are completely superfluous.

\- How do you like it? - I heard John's voice.

\- Well, sort of fine, fine, cool, - was all I could answer.

\- It doesn't get any cooler, - John said, and burst out laughing like crazy.

I don’t know what came over me, but I turned to John and looked at him, brought him closer to me and began to kiss him. For John it was a surprise, he tried to dodge, but then gave up and began to kiss me in response.

\- Do you want me to make you even cooler? - I whispered.

\- In what sense? - John muttered .

\- In this one.

With that, I crawled off the couch and knelt before John. Without saying a word, I began to rub my palm over his groin through his leather pants.

\- Simon, what are you doing? - John moaned.

\- I want to make you even better, isn't it obvious? - I answered with a sly smile.

In response, John moaned without taking his eyes off me, I could feel John s cock standing upright and he was about to break through his pants. I took off his pants, dropping them to his knees and in front of my face jumped out a cock of John. My eyes flashed at his sight, everything in my throat was dry. With a sweating hand, I began to run along the entire length, causing a new stream of moans from John.

\- Simon, please? - John begged.

\- What do you want? - I whispered.

\- Fuck Simon !!! Take it in your mouth !!! Give me a blowjob !! Please!! - John howled.

\- It will be done, - I said with a smile.

With these words, I wrapped my mouth around John's cock, putting my lips on it, sucking it like a candy. John held his hand in his mouth, holding back a cry of pleasure. I confidently sucked his cock, without taking my eyes off him, I wanted to see John’s reactions to how he wriggled, struggling with himself so as not to come quickly. Only a hoarse breath came out of his mouth, sucking on for three more minutes, I decided that the time had come to accelerate and with these thoughts I did so by adding a second hand caressing his balls. And two minutes later, a hot stream of sperm poured into my mouth, which I eagerly swallowed, John's body vibrated from orgasm, his eyes were closed, he was breathing heavily, barely holding back moans. How sexy he was at that moment, I wanted to admire him forever. Recovering a little, John slowly opened his eyes and looked down at me, in response I just smiled and grabbed him by the neck and began to kiss him, sharing with him his own juice, which was sealed in my mouth. Perhaps his juices are much sweeter than any wine. separating from the kiss, I looked at him again and at the same time felt that my cock threatened to erupt.

\- Your turn! - I said with a smile.

\- But ... I never did that!- John whispered, still panting

\- And right now you will learn.

With these words, I took John's hand and led him to the wall, which I leaned against and pulled John to me for a kiss, our tongues entwined in a passionate tango, despite the fact that we were both high. John began to kiss my neck, thrusting his hand under my pants, I hissed in bliss, throwing my head up. John immediately took the situation into his own hands and knelt down and began to slowly take off his pants, and for me it was torture. I cried out when John started licking the tip of my python with his tongue, I felt goose bumps running through my body from this fantastic sensation.

\- Oh yes ... How good ... yes Johnny, please ... don’t stop ... go on ... I groaned.

John didn’t even think about stopping, just like me he didn’t take his eyes off me and slowly began to swallow my cock almost completely, it took me an effort not to come right away from the sounds that John made. I didn’t have this with Claire, she didn’t want to do it, because it was unpleasant for her, but what John was doing was just fucking amazing and I enjoyed a brief blissful moment, after six minutes I realized that I could no longer restrain myself and holding John's head, I began to thrust into his hot, wet mouth and a moment later I poured out into him, closing his eyes, trembling with rolling pleasure. God, it was just magical, never thought that I could feel and experience such bliss. although John was new to this, but he did an excellent job. I picked him up and began to kiss him, we were both intoxicated with the sensation of post-orgasm and the effects of cocaine. Separating from me, John looked at me.

\- Well, how was I?

\- Are you still asking?” It was cool, I really liked it. You are excellent Johnny, - I said, smiling and stroking his cheek.

\- I'm glad I gave you great pleasure, - John answered.

After that, we silently smoked, digesting everything that happened a few minutes ago for a long time. After that, we went to the hotel and went to different rooms. Exhausted, I didn t undress, collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep in a dead sleep.

April. San Diego California

I sat in the room in splendid isolation reading a book. There were only two days left until the final concerts of this tour. I must admit, this long tour exhausted us all, we were literally squeezed like lemons, and even those annoying fans who constantly chased us, we all urgently needed a rest, at least for six months. Suddenly, I heard a scream similar to a roar, it alerted me, who could yell like this in the middle of late evening? Putting down the book, I got up and went to see what was going on, leaving the room I headed to the place where the scream was heard, and it came from John's room. A minute later the scream repeated and I realized that this scream belongs to John. God, something happened to him?

\- Johnny, Johnny, open the door! It's me, Simon! - I shouted, knocking on the door!

\- I can't walk, call someone to open the door ... - John s voice came.

I ran to the guard to help open the door to John's room. Opening the door and entering the room I was horrified. The floor was in fragments, John was sitting on the floor and blood was bleeding from his feet, and, as it turned out, he accidentally stepped on these fragments.

\- Johnny, what happened? - I asked, running to him.

\- I quarreled with Janice, she left and in a rage I broke the bottle and wanted to follow her, and now these damned fragments.

\- Urgently call a doctor, John needs medical attention, - I said, turning to the guard.

\- What's the matter? What's that noise? - Nick asked, approaching.

\- John hurt his leg and all because of this Janice, - I said with a sigh.

\- The doctor will arrive in ten minutes, - the guard said, hanging up.

The doctor arrived at the appointed time, and Nick and I helped John lie down on the bed. It took an hour to pull out the fragments, and each time John screamed in pain, I held his hand tightly and hugged him, of course guys looked at me strangely, but I didn t pay attention to it, at the moment I was very worried about John and his every scream was like a knife in my heart. Having pulled out all the fragments, the doctor rummaged in a bag and pulled out a syringe.

\- What are you going to do? - I asked, squinting at the syringe.

\- An ordinary morphine shot so I can stitch my leg.

\- But John has alcohol in his body, it's dangerous, Johnny, did you drink something alcoholic? - I asked, glancing at John.

\- Only the bottle that I broke, - John answered in a weak voice.

\- Alas, you still have to get an injection, most importantly hope for the best, - the doctor said.

After the injection was made, the doctor began to stitch the wounds on his leg, I held his hand tightly, letting him know that everything would be fine. Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door and then Andy and Roger entered the room.

\- We were told something happened to John, - Andy blurted out.

\- Yes, that s right, Andy go get in touch with our managers about canceling concerts, - I said.

\- I don’t think they will agree to this, especially since all tickets have been sold, - Andy shrugged.

\- Do you understand that John will not be able to perform with his wounded leg, - I replied.

\- Okay, the attempt is not torture, - Andy said and left the room.

Soon the doctor ended up treating the wounds and hiding his things in a bag he said goodbye to us, instructing us to keep an eye on John. Roger sat on the other side of the bed. After a while Andy came in, his face was grim.

\- It didn’t work, Paul didn’t want to listen, said that it was John’s fault and let it out as best as he could, but we should play a concert, - Andy said.

\- How can they think about money when a person is in poor condition?? - I blurted out angrily.

\- Apparently money is more important to them than human health. So what actually happened? - Andy asked.

\- Probably, it's still my fault, Janice and I had a quarrel, see, she was bored and she wanted to go somewhere with me, but I didn’t want to go anywhere, I just wanted to relax, and so it went, she left and slammed the door, and I angrily drank a bottle of wine and smashed it against the wall, I decided to catch up Janice and this is the result, - John answered with a sigh.

There was a knock on the door again, Nick went on grumbling with displeasure to see who it was, then he returned already with Janice.

\- What happened? - She asked.

\- And you don't seem to know. Well, the beauty did you had fun? - I answered angrily looking at her.

\- Don't you dare talk to me in the tone what happened? - she said.

\- John just hurt his leg, but everything will be fine, just don’t worry, - Andy said.

\- He suffered because of this stupid girl what is incomprehensible here?? - I burst out.

\- Simon, Simon, calm down buddy! - Andy tried to reassure me.

Janis and I incinerated each other with hateful looks, I wanted to beat her with rage, but I couldn’t allow this, otherwise she would have told everything in the press, and I don’t need such an advertisement, and then to beat the girls as an unworthy action for the men.

\- So it would be better if we left our couple alone so that they could figure it out with each other, okay? - Roger said.

\- Well, then we'll go, tomorrow we will decide what we will do about the concert, - Nick replied.

Saying goodbye to John and Janice, we went to numbers. I was madly angry that our manager didn t care about John’s condition and only wanted money, and this Janice infuriated me specifically. That night I barely managed to fall asleep. The next morning, in a group meeting, it was decided to call the doctor during the concert, so that he would help John, in case he was ill, which was done. To drown out the pain in the leg, the doctor injected a small dose of morphine into it, since we had to perform whole fucking for two hours. The doctor reassured us that everything would be fine, but we were still a little afraid for John. But by some miracle we managed to play these two concerts, after which John was sitting on the sofa with an oxygen mask on his face. After a couple of weeks, John's leg healed, the stitches were removed and finally John was able to walk freely and we were able to breathe a sigh of relief. But one thing outraged me that for all this time Janice seemed that she don t care for John, she didn t even look at him when he was sitting on the couch, trying to recover from the concert. She didn t have a drop of sympathy, she never once asked him if everything was okay with him. I don’t even know what will happen between the two, we can only guess what will happen next, but we were all glad that the tour was over and now we could have a rest. Although I was very touched when John and Andy and I hugged each other and Andy asked: "What will happen next?" I myself didn t know what to answer, but I hoped that further would be better than ever.

POV John.

 June, 1984.

I sat at home and watched the telly while drinking orange juice, and I sat absolutely proudly alone, after what happened between Janis and me, we decided to take a break from each other for a while. She flew to San Francisco, ten days after we returned from the United States. And in May we went on a promotion tour to promote the single "The Reflex", which was released on April 16th and managed to take first places on both sides of the Atlantic, which pleased us. Our popularity, as always, was at its best, but all five of us felt very tired from all this hype around us, it even started to bore us, this long tour also affected, God knows how we passed this test. Now, we could take a short break from screaming, spotlights and other touring insanity. Suddenly, a moment crashed into my head when Simon and I did a blowjob to each other, after what happened, none of us even remembered it, maybe the cocaine effect affected both of us. From this memory I even felt uneasy and I tried to get it out of my head. The phone suddenly rang, I was already scared, because it could be the head of the label or the manager who would tell us to record the album. Reluctantly, I went to the phone, but thank God I was mistaken in these options, it was Simon.

\- Hi Johnny, didn’t I bother you? - Simon asked.

\- Hi, no, of course, did you want something? - I answered.

\- Yes, in general, I was invited to the premiere of the film "Indiana Jones", but I have no one to go with, Claire left as luck would have it, are you free on June 13th?

\- Mmm, yes, anyway, I don’t know when Janice will come, we haven’t gotten along with her recently, but why did you choose me?

\- It’s just that I’ll be much calmer with you, I don’t think that any of our guys will be able to agree.

\- I don’t even know, I will think about your proposal.

\- Unfortunately, you don’t have time to think about it. So yes or no?

\- Good, I persuaded, - I sighed.

\- Fine, then we meet on the 13th june, a limo will come for you.

\- Agreed. See you then,

\- See you.

I hung up and went to the refrigerator for a bottle of whiskey. What s going on in Simon’s head? What if people don’t understand this? In general, why am I worried? It’s time to get used to it already. And perhaps this evening will be unforgettable for both of us. Well, one can only guess what awaits us. The rest of the day I spent in thought, staring blankly at the telly and drinking a bottle of whiskey.

June 13, 1984, London.

I stood at the porch of the house, nervously smoking, well, of course, today you can say so, I will have a date with Simon, and even at the premiere of the film "Indiana Jones", this day promise to be very interesting. And how did I manage to even agree to this, but for insistent person, how can you refuse Simon? And honestly, I was wondering what it feels like to be with a man, and even more so with a best friend. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car that stopped in front of me.

\- Hi Johnny, have you fallen asleep or what? - Simon asked opening the door.

\- No, just thinking, I said, sitting down next to him.

\- Don’t worry, Johnny, I promise you won’t regret it.” Moreover, we don t often hang out with each other.

\- I feel like I'm on a date with you.

\- And it's not bad, one might say, our first official date.

\- Simon, are you serious now? - I asked, taken aback.

\- I'm absolutely serious. We are both free, if only temporarily. By the way, how is your Janice? When she arrive.

\- I have no idea. She never called me. Recently, we don t get along very well with each other, especially after what happened. When you left with the guys, I didn’t even want to talk to her, I wasn t in the mood to find out further with her, and then we just started to move away from each other.

\- You just came across a selfish girl who thinks that you will fulfill all her whims.

\- Maybe. what about you and Claire?”

\- It’s also not very good when I arrived, she threw me such a tantrum that she almost didn’t get into a fight, of course we later reconciled after five days, but in my opinion our relations are not the same as before, something changed I just don’t understand what. And no matter how strange it sounds, but with you it s much easier for me.

\- Maybe because we understand each other perfectly? - I suggested.

\- Maybe.

During the time we chatted in the limousine, we didn t even notice how we were already in the right place. The door was opened for us and we, leaving the limousine, moved along the red carpet. On the way, we saw camera flashes, but we didn t pay attention to them and simply went forward. Suddenly, for myself, I took Simon by the elbow, Simon looked at me, I just smiled, winking at him. And it was for us the first real date with each other. I already absolutely didn t care what people would talk about us behind our backs. I just wanted to have a good day with Simon. The flow of camera flashes didn t stop until we entered the cinema and we were able to breathe a sigh of relief. I even liked the film, it was very exciting like the previous one, in the Indiana story, in the company of a singer and a boy, they go to India, where the inhabitants of a small village asked to return a stone stolen by people who worshiped the goddess Kali, as well as children who were used as slaves. Leaving the cinema, we went to one small cafe, where there were few people and we could be unrecognized. We just wanted to eat in a relaxed atmosphere without any outbreaks and crowds.

\- I never thought that I would get out with you somewhere, - I said.

\- But still we did it, I would like us to spend more time together with you, - Simon answered with a smile and put his hand on mine.

\- Even when we're both not free? - I asked without removing my hand.

\- Something tells me that we will both be free soon, - Simon said.

\- Where such confidence?

\- I have a good flair, so sooner or later we will be together. Perhaps you are the only one to whom I feel... different feelings, I know you also feel the same as I do, but you are still afraid of condemnation, slanting looks and misunderstanding. Johnny, sooner or later people will get used to it, they just need a little time.

\- Consider that from today I have cast aside all doubts and fears. After all, then I wouldn t go to the premiere with you. You noticed that I even took you under the elbow, and this is a big step. It seems to me that I'm ... starting to fall in love with you, but I'm not going to torment myself anymore.

\- I'm glad you finally realized it, - Simon said, beaming.

\- What will we do with our girls? - I asked.

\- Perhaps I will have to admit everything. Only Claire is unlikely to take it calmly. Honestly, I begin to lose the feeling of love for her, and this is from the moment we had a fight.

\- Yes, you're right, but Simon, so far no one should know about this, that you and I go on joint dates.

\- Agreed!

After a long conversation, we went home. Sitting by the window, I smoked and wondered what to do with Janice and how to tell her all this, and that would be so hard. But I think it will be better for us than tormenting each other with our indifference.

June 24, 1984. London.

Eleven days after our first date, our entire group was invited to a party on the new Thompson Twins album, which was hosted by the band members themselves. Many celebrities came to the party and this party promised to be fun. I came to the party in splendid isolation, in my heart I hoped that Simon would be alone, when I saw him, I didn t find Claire next to him, which was very good for me. I immediately went to him, taking two glasses of wine.

\- Hi, how long have you been here? - I asked, handing him a glass.

\- Hi, no, I recently arrived and was about to search for you, - Simon smiled, taking the glass from my hands.

\- I see you came alone too? - I asked.

\- Oh yes, and you won’t say that you are with someone, - Simon retorted.

\- Well then, let s have fun together, - I laughed.

What we did. From time to time, sometimes people came up to us just to chat with us and we had a friendly conversation with them. But most of the time I was alone with Simon, we wanted to spend more time together on this day. From the moment I had my first date with him, I began to feel more relaxed about myself and it seemed to me that I was gradually starting to really fall in love with Simon, but I wasn t yet ready to admit it to him. And just like at the premiere of "Indiana Jones", people looked at us with a strange look, but preferred to keep quiet, maybe people are whispering behind our backs, but we were no longer up to it. And then suddenly the song “Hello” started by Lionel Richie. I looked at Simon, who apparently understood everything without further words and took me by the hand and led me to the dance floor. I, wrapping my arms around Simon's waist, began to move smoothly with him to the beat of the music. This wasn t what was on Andy’s wedding, I felt completely different now.

Hello!  
Is it me you're looking for?  
I can see it in your eyes  
I can see it in your smile  
You're all I've ever wanted  
And my arms are open wide  
Because you know just what to say  
And you know just what to do  
And I want to tell you so much  
I love you

We looked into each other's eyes, continuing to dance, it seemed to me that everything around us froze and now we are all alone in the whole universe. I boldly stroked Simon’s cheek, he smiled, aaaah, how sweet he is when he smiles, I wanted to kiss him, but for some reason I couldn’t do it, maybe because the crowd won’t understand, or the time hasn’t has come. When the song ended, we reluctantly disconnected from each other, but what we didn t expect was applause from the participants in the party. Looks like we really riveted their attention with our dance. Compliments to us were falling like pies, apparently the party participants had tolerance and that was good.

\- You guys made the party unforgettable, it was awesome! - we heard the voice of Allana Kuri, who ran up to us with a radiant face.

\- Why, there, we just danced, - I said.

\- It was magical anyway. By the way, you two look so beautiful with each other, - she continued.

-Where such confidence? Simon asked.

\- Aren't you both in love with each other? The same is written on your faces!

Damn, does she see us through? It made me nervous, I apologized and went outside to smoke. I couldn’t confess my love to Simon aloud, since I was still not completely sure of myself, although it was high time to admit that I really fell in love with him, especially since he was in love with me from the very beginning, despite everything speculations and suspicious looks of people, but I still couldn t overcome myself. And we also agreed that so far no one would know about our dates. But this was impossible, because the whole press released a report on our campaign for the premiere. Five minutes later, Simon went out into the street, apparently also decided to have a smoke, especially since he was heading straight for me.

\- Why are you gone, - he asked, lighting a cigarette.

\- I don’t know, I didn’t think that we would cause so much excitement, - I answered.

\- Have you decided what to do with Janice?”

\- Not yet, although she recently called and said she would be back in a month.” I don t know how much more we need to continue to lie to our halves, - I sighed.

\- Nothing, the time will come, let's say, only while it’s not worth rushing.

\- Simon, are you sure you want to be with me?”

\- John, you know how I have loved you for a long time, and now I can’t stop thinking about you, every time I stay with Claire, I always represent you in her place. I literally fell in love with you at first sight, I can even say directly that you are the one whom I can rely on. I love you Johnny and I want us to be together.

From his confession, an unfinished cigarette fell out of my hands. I was so amazed at his frank confession that my speech was lost and my heart beat faster. It also felt like someone poured cold water on me. But when I came to, I looked Simon in the eye and without saying a word I went up to him and hugged him. His arms immediately wrapped around my body, I could hardly restrain the emotions that were seething inside me, threatening to splash out with a fountain, but instead I just silently hugged Simon, not finding the right words, and what could I say, it was already clear that we both love each other. For some reason, all this time I was afraid to admit it to myself, but now it was not important. Now we could only free ourselves from our girls, who served as an obstacle for us.

\- Simon, I love you too, but I'm so afraid that suddenly we won’t succeed? - I said.

\- Don’t say that, Johnny, I’m sure that everything will be fine and that we will have a wonderful future together, just please, trust me, - Simon whispered, wrapping his arms around my face and bringing his face closer, he began to kiss me.

At first I answered uncertainly, but then more and more I became drawn in and again it was the feeling that there was nobody around us except ourselves and we were alone in the whole universe. We would have continued this way if it weren’t for the voice that brought us out of trance .

\- Khmm khmm, of course I apologize for interrupting your solitude, but everyone is already worried about you, so I think it's better to do it another time, but for now, let's go back until you are discovered to make a couple of hot photos for the press, - Nick's voice sounded like thunder, sobering us up.

\- Yeah, yeah, we’re already going, - I said, and turned to Simon. - Simon, then we need to discuss what to do with our girls.”

= We will definitely talk about this, but for now let's go back to the fun, - Simon answered, taking me by the waist.

The party lasted until two in the night, after which, Simon and I went home, agreeing that I would approach him and discuss with him what was needed. Already in the car, I scrolled this moment many times, I felt joy and anticipation of living together with Simon. One thing was clear to me now, I am gay and I have to accept myself for who I am. Enough to endure these torments, unbearable thoughts that corroded me four years ago, I realized that it wouldn t lead to good, but if I accept myself as you are and it will be easier to live and I decided that I should no longer torment myself with negative thoughts . The day will come and Simon and I will tell all people that we have become a couple. But first thing that i need is to end with Janice, although this will be a big blow for her, but I wanted to believe that she would be able to understand and accept all this.

July 1984.

The shooting of the clip "Wild Boys" took place at the Pinewood studio in London. It’s worth saying that we shot the most expensive clip, because there were a lot of scenery and special effects, they might have been more expensive than our costumes, plus there was a dancers in the video, but there was more Simon in the video than the rest of the guys, but the incident on the set scared me like that, that I couldn t forget it for a long time. After filming the part with me where I was chained to a car and helplessly banging my head, they began to shoot an episode with Simon where he was chained to a mill on the water that was spinning. And then at some point the mechanism refused and the mill stopped, and Simon’s head was just in the water, he couldn’t raise his head because he was attached to that damned thing.

\- Take it off immediately! - Russell yelled, who was filming our video.

Divers rushed to save Simon, and at that moment everything was shaking inside me. I prayed to myself, hoping that everything would work out, and the grief rescuers barely pulled Simon and laid him on the floor, Simon was unconscious, it immediately became clear that he needed to be saved, and I remembered that i was taught how to help people at swimming lessons who was choked with water. I ran to Simon, who was lying unconscious, and kneeling down, I saw that the rescuer was doing everything wrong, this was the wrong technique.

\- You do everything wrong, you only worsen everything! - I exclaimed angrily.

\- Young man, don’t teach me how to, I can do it without you, - he snapped.

\- FUCK YOU!!! - I yelled and pushing him, began to save Simon himself. - Come on, wake up, wake up please !!! Don t leave me! - I repeated, feeling that I was on the verge of hysteria, but I tried to control myself.

And three minutes later, Simon coughed up spitting water. "I did it! I did it! I saved my boyfriend! I did it!" I thought to myself with a sigh of relief, but I was still shaking.

-J-j-Johnny... - I heard Simon's hoarse voice.

\- Yes, I'm here, Charlie, - I replied, struggling with tears of relief.

Simon sat down without saying a word to me and hugged me, feeling that I couldn t stand it anymore, let loose tears, I cried quietly, hugging his wet body.

\- Thank you, I owe you a great debt, - Simon said quietly.

\- How you scared me to death, I was afraid that I would lose you, - I answered, wiping my tears.

\- But I am alive thanks to you, you literally pulled me out of the hands of death, I would have done the same in your place, - Simon said stroking me on the cheek.

While that malign device was being repaired, Simon and I sat and smoked, by then Simon was already dressed in dry clothes, and after a while Nick, Andy and Roger came up to us.

\- How are you, Simon?- Nick asked.

\- It's okay, I honestly didn t expect it to happen like that, - Simon answered.

\- And Johnny proved himself excellent today, he needs to go to the rescuers, - said Andy, smoking cigarette.

\- That dude was just doing the wrong technique, he would only do worse, - I answered with a sigh.

\- But the main thing was nothing, John, we are all proud of you! You are a superhero! - Roger said with a smile.

\- Oh come on, I just saved my best friend and colleague and you would have done the same, - I replied embarrassedly.

\- Well, I feel more than friendships between you and Simom, - Andy said with a wink.

\- Andy, are you an idiot ?? Found time for fun! Could come up with nothing better? - Roger said reproachfully.

\- So what?? You all saw how they hugged!

\- Andy, if you are so worried about our relationship, then yes, we are now together since the month of June, I hope you will feel better from the information? - Simon muttered.

\- Are you seriously?? How?? Just don’t say that you ... - Roger began.

\- Yes, we haven't parted with the girls yet, but we will do it soon, - Simon continued.

\- Not before our weddings!” You know that there will be a press and we don’t need strong excitement, - Nick said.

\- We don’t plan to part with them yet, but we won’t tell the press about our relations either, we will understand when the time comes to tell the truth, - Simon assured.

\- You are both shocking me, I can't believe it, you and John... God... Roger said.

\- I have long understood that there is something between them since they danced at my wedding, - Andy answered.

\- Is it so annoying to you ?? Our relationship it s an eyesore for you?? - I asked, feeling everything in me seething with anger.

\- No, no... just for me... it's unusual .. - Andy muttered when he saw my gaze.

\- So guys, let's go better, we won’t bother them, let them be alone, - Nick said, and resolutely led the guys away.

One way or another, we managed to finish shooting the video and everyone sighed with great relief, I was even more glad that this day, which was terrible and stressful, ended well. And that my beloved boyfriend remained alive, thanks to me, and this was much more important.


End file.
